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But I digress


 wit's end
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Yes, I'm at my wit's end. Long story short: The woman I'm seeing has a history of lying and being secretive to me. Before we got together, she was dating two other guys, and intimate with both. No big deal, so I thought. We made the decision to move our relationship forward, and she told me those relationships were not serious. She told me the were casual, and she would stop talking to/seeing them. Great I thought. We could concentrate on our relationship, and make it stronger and better.

Well, I found out last week she hadn't stopped talking to either of them and had even met one of them (Guy No. 2) for coffee. I was flabbergasted. It wasn't enough that she lied to me when she told me she would stop talking to them, but then she even met with one of them. I was truly devastated. We talked it through, and she said she was committed to our relationship and that she would finally end it with them for good. Whatever that means, right?

Guy No. 1 calls, and she tells him, again!, that she doesn't want to talk with or see him again, that she's trying to concentrate on our relationship. Well, that made him mad, and he told her that made him sick. So he told her he didn't want to talk with her again, either. She then told me that she was hurt, and she hadn't realized she had such strong feelings for Guy No. 1. Hmmmm, talk about wrenching my heart even more. But she said, she would get over it/him. She wanted to be with only me. I'm not even sure if she's talking to Guy No. 2 still.

Believe me, my first instinct is to run like hell and never look back. I'm not sure I can believe her, or if she can even stop talking with these guys, even though she professes her love for me.

In a nutshell, I'm confused and at my wit's end. I don't know what to do, but I do know I'm not a quitter. I love this woman, and want to move forward still; she sure isn't making it easy.

P.S. This is the woman I love, so if you comment, please keep that in mind. I'm really not interested in disparaging comments about her.
Posted by BlackNapalm at 9:18 PM - 11 Comments   Add a Comment  
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by Misty (PM , CC ) on Monday September 24, 2007 @ 7:48 PM




BN, Nope, negative comments wouldn't help a bit. But I will say this, I don't think you're a #3 type of man! Move forward if that's what your heart says, but remember sometimes it's good for all, to take a step back... Don't lose yourself...
Peace to ya',
PJ
 
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by PJ (PM , CC ) on Tuesday September 25, 2007 @ 7:40 PM




My Mom would say "NEXT!"

It sounds cold, do you trust at this point?

I hope that helps.
 
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by Zappa Fan (PM , CC ) on Tuesday September 25, 2007 @ 7:43 PM




Black Napalm:

Sounds to me like she needs more than one man. That doesn't promise a very bright future for you.
 
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by Whit's Whittlings (PM , CC ) on Tuesday September 25, 2007 @ 10:20 PM




I'm with Zappa's Mom.  
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by prisonerofhope (PM , CC ) on Tuesday September 25, 2007 @ 10:25 PM




I know you love her...and if you feel that strongly about her then you both need to sit down and do a REAL GOOD heart to heart. I am not sure that the feelings she is having for these other guys is so much love but maybe they make her feel like they NEED her in some way to make their lives right. I have been there...done that. She needs to realize that if she truly loves you and cares about you that she has to disengage herself from them. She has to pay attention to her feelings and your feelings and those other guys WILL survive without her...she has to cut the ties. It isn't easy but once you let her know how this all makes you feel, it will be easiER for her to cut them off. Like I said...been in her place...done all that. I really think she does love you, and she is only hiding things becuz she does not want to hurt you or she thinks that you will get angry about it and she doesn't want to have to deal with it. So...don't show anger...just let her know how you FEEL...and that you are concerned for her well being as well. These other two guys are just sucking her dry whether she knows it or not. Good luck! I'm pulling for ya!  
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by Candy (PM , CC ) on Wednesday September 26, 2007 @ 8:57 PM




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by Misty (PM , CC ) on Friday September 28, 2007 @ 12:22 PM




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by Misty (PM , CC ) on Sunday September 30, 2007 @ 2:43 AM




Can I be blunt..because I like you and I've got ten years on you? ....Aint gonna happen with her. Not now at least. Other T...I've been both in your place and I have been in her place as well before. Sounds like she needs to work a LOT of shit out and evolve some more. And..I'm totally not dissing her...some people just need to process their insecurities and get whole before they can really love somebody else.

Depending on her age and stuff, she may be actually relishing all the affection she is getting from all angles. Even if it's subconcious for her, she's getting off on it even if she says she isn't.

Just don't get played and don't get your heart broken.

When the right one comes along....you'll know...it won't be messy like this relationship....you won't have these kind of quandries about them...and they won't have any of these qaundries about you. See what I'm saying?

 
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by Biggie T (PM , CC ) on Sunday September 30, 2007 @ 3:03 AM




AW BN...I feel bad for you...
I was kinda like that in my 20's but so not like that now.
But enough about me...now you.

Be true to yourself and be good to yourself.
You deserve the moon, the stars and the big piece of chicken.
 
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by Lucy. (PM , CC ) on Sunday September 30, 2007 @ 3:34 AM




(((((((BNP))))))))))
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by Misty (PM , CC ) on Wednesday October 3, 2007 @ 1:59 PM


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   
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